How's Your Euskera, Irene?

As someone who is in a plane at least two times a month, I have yet to pull out an in flight magazine and find, usually in the first dozen or so pages a full page ad with a photo of this woman. Her blinding white veneers and golden tresses. If I'd come across her photo without context I'd peg her as either a South Florida madame or Vegas realtor. No, Irene Valenti is a self avowed matchmaker bringing together busy professionals in what she calls the "European tradition". I was just in Europe and I certainly never saw anyone with such trashy, flashy audacity as Irene.

According to her online bio, she's originally from Edmonton, Alberta -- which I'm sure is where she picked up all those European traditions. Again, seeing the photo out of context and I were asked to guess where she grew up I'd say Ashbury Park at best, more likely Newark or even lower down on the Jersey pecking order.

It's kind of sad to think that there are people out there that get in touch with Irene, since she's obviously raking in enough bucks to have her work her reputed old world charms. I honestly wish I had some bucks to blow just to have the satisfaction of seeing her expression when I filled out my profile, handed it to her and said, "What I'm really looking for Irene, is a Baske fisherman, with a donkey dong." I bet Irene can't even speak Euskera. Okay, mine's not that great either. However, I did hear from a Baske dude online who's coming to SF in a few months and it didn't cost me a cent. Sure, I hear similar things from guys in Nigeria and Malaysia, but I always bend the rules for the Baske. Are you sensing that there may be a theme coming to Junk Thief in the months ahead? Could be.