Memories of Joy Replacing Those of Pain
As I have worked through the pain of losing Bow with still less than a week since her departure, a small sign of progress is that I am starting to see the fuller picture of her life and our time together. I am able to look at older pictures of her and not be devastated by what was lost in her final days but cherish that I had what days of joy she brought me.
A good friend has been dealing with a case of shingles while I have been dealing with my grief, and we have been able to be supportive during our mutual time of pain.
Each day, I keep thinking about the person I was when she came into my life and who I am now. I hope that I have become less selfish, and she taught me that I still have the capacity to love fully and unconditionally. This came after nearly a decade of bad relationships, loss of my parents, other relatives and friends. I am not ready to extend the kind of love I gave her to another creature just yet as I work through the grief and honor her legacy. But I know that time will come, and I will be able to give as much love again. It will not be an attempt to replace her or forget her. But when I feel healed enough to give the way I gave to her, I will know that she is there -- fully alive in my heart to help me rise to most best, most loving potential.