Affirming Contradictions

In your journal list your contradictions. Don't try to justify or correct them just now, simply list them. ..

Ew, I always hate this exercise. I already know most of them.

Perfectionist -- Pack rat
Privacy obsessed hermit -- fame and attention whore
Perfectionist -- typo slinger, speed writing freak
Vegan -- sushi addict (and not just avocado rolls)
Perfectionist -- sloth
Pacifist -- foul mouthed, road rager screaming death threats behind the wheel
Buddhist -- Christmas schlock addict

Okay, the entire perfectionist thing is really getting at me this month as I am not travelling until after Labor Day and have been embroiled in both work and personal "time to get the systems in order" mode. July was strategic planning month at work and it sort of spilled over into real life, as in trying to answer the "what's it all about" question. I'd had that question answered once after a massage in Bali and on a mountain in Nepal, and it was that it was about being in that moment.

Now August is sort of the "tactile planning" month, mapping out specific dates all that I plan to accomplish between now and June 30 (work fiscal year end, and usually a personal turning point). So the perfectionist and slob are sort of crashing against each other right now since it requires having piles of projects and things to be sorted all over the JunkPlex. As single person abodes in San Francisco go, the JunkPlex is pretty spacious, but any pile of "to do" stuff is always crazy making for me. And it seems that the place is usually at its tidiest once I've packed my bags, ready to head out the door for a long trip. If I burn up on a plane crashing into the Rockies, the people walking into my place would be deluded into believing I led a decidedly orderly, perfectly organized life. Well, that's what I'm always moving towards, but the wheels required to turn it to that point move so slowly.

[The photo does not relate precisely to the post, but we'll say it's JunkThief about to be crushed by the churning wheels of perfection. Actually it's part of his latest experiment of channeling some of the works of Cindy Sherman. Needless to say, he's very dissatisfied with it since it's far from perfection, and he may abandon the whole project. Bleh, bleh, bleh.]