Monday, January 14, 2008

Interactive Monday: New Slate for Mr. Slate

As Mark Slate on The Man from U.N.C.L.E and then as the side kick to The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.'s April Dancer, Noel Harrison had a quick rush of success in the mid- to late 1960s. However, Girl never had quite the punch of Man. Was America just not quite ready to see Noel playing second fiddle to a girl?

Noel, of course, went on to discover the windmills of his mind, very Quixote-esque for a Brit, but isn't there a La Mancha just east of Brighton as well?

Your assignment: It's early 1967 just after Girl has been canceled, and you're a big deal producer at ABC and know that Noel's just been given the pink slip. Here's your chance to develop a new show surrounding this Nehru jacket wearing Brit of Rex's spawn. Junk Thief is the top brass at ABC who is sipping a martini and chewing on a cigar, and you are sitting across from hit to pitch your idea for Noel's new show.

Ready. Set. Pitch that idea!

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At 6:53 AM, Blogger Dave said...

Okay. Picture it: Noel plays a breakdancing robot from the future who adopts two sassy inner-city children and opens a brewery in South Beach. Hilarity ensues.

No? All right, how about this one: Noel's Jewish mother dies and is reincarnated as a wisecracking ATM machine that only he can see. They are relentlessly pursued across the country by an FBI agent and every week they pick up a different hooker with a heart of gold and turn her life around with homespun Jewish ATM wisdom.

Not crazy about that one? That's all right, I was saving the best for last. Noel wakes up one morning to discover he has mysteriously switched bodies with a junk-collecting blogger from San Francisco, resulting in a series of sexy misunderstandings. I smell an Emmy!

At 7:14 AM, Blogger kimy said...

noel plays the very mod, hip human companion to a talking cat who is a crimefighter (the cat from u.n.c.l.e?) and proprietor of an apartment house filled with whimsical characters of every color, stripe, and type of species....

At 8:51 AM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Dave - I like all of them, but I agree the last one is best. My life is pretty much an endless series of sexy misunderstandings.

Kimy - I bet the cat can speak both Queen's English and Russian and is central to tracking down spies. The role of cats in helping topple the Soviet Union is greatly under appreciated.

At 5:04 PM, Blogger rich bachelor said...

Here you go: "The Uncle from U.N.C.L.E".

At least once per episode, just when the goin' gets tough, some sort of straight line is thrown out...And is caught by Rex Harrison, who enters to applause while saying something along the lines of, "Did somebody call my naa-ame?"

There would also be a brief musical number, each week, by the Lovin' Spoonful.

At 5:07 PM, Blogger rich bachelor said...

And I guess I failed to mention that Rex would play Noel's "goofy" uncle.

I'm unclear what Noel's character would actually do, but it scarcely matters.

At 6:17 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Rich - That sounds like a very solid concept. I especially like giving Rex that recurring role and just that one line. It would be sort of on the order of "That Girl!" or "Oh my Gawd, they killed Kenny. You bastards!" You never know when it's coming, but you can't wait until it does.


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