Sans-Serif Sensuality

Do you have a favorite type face? Have you seen Helvetica, the movie? Do you remember German Bold Italic by Kylie Minogue and Towa Tei, one of the few pop tunes devoted to a type face? Has no one other than Salty Miss Jill's husband taken notice of the misshapen art nouveau font of the Junk Thief banner? If you were a type face, would you go out with a font on the opposite end of the serif equation? Do you consider images of typography from the Belle Epoque to the 1950s to hold greater eroticism than fat boys posing as bears or emotionally constipated closet cases who brag about being straight acting or just regular down to earth guys? Are you old enough to remember sending photosensitive paper through a pair of black rubber rollers to produce text waiting to dry and be waxed? Are you given pause when you see stone set dates on the sides of buildings that commemorate the year they were "erected"? Have you ever produced your own fonts with pen and ink purely as a form of recreation? Do you consider Cheap Trick to have greater integrity than Barbra Streisand because the former uses distressed typewriter type and the latter uses Century School Book Italic? Do you consider lower case a to have the same charm as a virginal fawn resting under a fern in the forest? Do you consider the capital R to have the virile strength of a ram proclaiming its domain atop a windy bluff? Do you consider a 0.5 mechanical pencil on a lined boutique press writing journal to be a sensual act equal to that of a bath in a tub of steaming jasmine, sage and lavender? Do you consider Lucida Sans and Arial to be the bastard remnants of the late 1990s? How many versions of the umlaut can you write? When was the last time you carved a letter into a potato and pressed it into food die for not practical reason?

These are questions inquiring minds demand to have answered.