Neurotic Like Me

Transcript from an overheard conversation at Nordstrom Rack while waiting for their shoes mated by a clerk in the stock room. They both appear to be heterosexual but not a couple. Coworkers?

Her: So I turned down the job because it involves touching other people

Him: Oh, I completely understand. Absolutely.

Her: Masseuse, hair dresser, nurse -- any of those jobs just totally gross me out.

Him: Absolutely. Oh, I absolutely. I absolutely agree.

Her: No matter what the salary was. I mean, I really don't like touching my husband that much.

Him: Completely. I completely understand you.

Her: My daughter. You know. My daughter, I mean, I never potty trained her. That was, like, what I paid daycare to do. Just the thought of touching -- you know, well -- that -- or dealing with that.

Him: Sure, I know. But before daycare, there were like diapers, and all that. Right?

Her: Well, yeah, but I wore disposable gloves, disposable diapers, disposable baby wipes. It was a little gross having to smell and look at it, but there was always something between me and -- well, you know -- that.

Him: Well, I completely get you. I could never take a job that involved touching other people.

Her: I know -- masseuse, dentist...mortician....

Him: (Whispering as he approaches the counter where the clerk is passing shoes to other customers ahead of them.)...shoe salesman.

Her: Ew. Dirty feet. Absolutely. That's why I always prefer self service. I can't stand the idea of a stranger touching my feet.

Him: Absolutely. Far more civilized.