Neurotic Like Me -- Cutting

(Conversation overheard, Herbivore on Valencia, 7:20 p.m. tonight.)

Patron #1: I was just there. In the park. You know. And doing it.

Patron: #2: The meditation, right?

Patron #1: Yes, the meditation.

Patron #2: And the streams were right?

My Mind: Which DVD from Tower Records will I watch first when I get home?

Patron #1: Yes, of course. And the scissors were my meditation focus object, of course.

My Mind: I wonder what the cat is doing? Is he sleeping on my purple couch? Why has he suddenly started enjoying canned food?

Patron #2: It sounds so fascinating.

Patron #1: It’s not fascinating as much as it is real. But always focused on the concrete object – the scissors.

Patron #2: You are so brave. I mean so brave. I just don’t know if I could do it.

Patron #1: Well, of course it’s not a literal cut but the focus on the object, the scissors. All a part of the cord cutting meditation.

Server: Have you decided what you want?

My Mind: Yes, it’s the same as it was 15 minutes ago when you started ignoring me.

Me: Yes, the Penne Lemon Herb Pasta and a glass of the Rosemont Merlot.

Server: Rosemount.

Me: Yes

My Mind: I stand corrected.

Patron #1: So I’ve focused the meditation on the scissors and breaking the bond – my mother, my lovers, anything that represents a crippling bind.

My Mind: I wonder if the cat will enjoy the Fassbinder DVD? I’ve always thought he had a Germanic sensibility while his brother was so much more French.

Patron #1: And the energy fields with each cut were so amazing.

Patron #2: Energy fields. And like you could see them?

Patron #1: Feel. See. Taste. Each one like a stick of celery breaking and releasing these amazing flavors – sharp, pungent yet subtle. Not blood cuts, like I fear. Sometimes I wake up from these dreams where there is so much blood.

Server: (Placing the merlot and salad on my table) Here you go.

Me: Thanks

My Mind: How did this take 30 seconds but it took a quarter of an hour to wait to take the order? Yes, I think the cat bonds to me out of a Germanic sensibility; we’re both so Weimar. I love him because he's so dark and fatalistic, waiting for the great inevitable doom.

Patron # 2: You are just so brave. I think most people would not be able to go there.

Patron #1: And I was doing it on the plane to and from Boston this weekend.

Patron #2: With the scissors or focused on them?

Patron: #1: Both. They were in my bag.

Patron #2: Checked?

Patron #1: Carry-on

Patron #2: Like I said...you are so brave.

Patron #1: It’s really crucial to focus on a consistent object or else the energy flows can’t be steady. I mean, sometimes the flow is so overpowering, so bright, I can’t take it.

Server: How is everything?

Me: (Mouth full of salad.) Mmmphh!

Patron #1: And as I make each cut it’s as if I see the person clearer, feel them nearer to me in this really weird way even though I've cut the cord in the meditation. They are close but not binding me and holding me down any longer.

Patron #2: And the scissors themselves, are they a particular kind?

Patron #1: Oh, they have to be surgical, like the ones to cut umbilical cords. You can’t use garden or kitchen scissors. It wouldn’t work. It's also very important that you hold them a particular way or it won't work.

My Mind: What was that quote from Sean Lennon in New York magazine today about the Dada Exhibit at MoMa this summer and the beauty of harsh objects? Didn’t he mention scissors? I know he talked about hammers and screwdrivers.

Patron #2: We so overlook the spiritual power of objects...and their..you know...

Patron #1: …energy

Patron #2: Yeah. God, you are SO strong.

My Mind: Why didn’t I take time to see the Dada exhibit when I was in New York in June? I just breezed in and out of town that trip. What was I avoiding?

Patron #1: It is more than the mineral and chemical make-up of the objects, but I know that’s part of it. It’s the merging of physical and spiritual intent.

Patron #2: It’s the actuality…er, I mean the potentiality of it.. that makes it real. The cord meditation, the thought, the intent of cutting. I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that life is more about inent than action.

My Mind: Is it the merlot, or is this actually sort of making sense? Da da da da da…

Patron #1: And because it’s happened in the mind it has happened in my life. I was there and experienced it.

Patron #2: And no one got hurt.

Patron #1: No, there is pain. No cut happens without pain, even if there is no physical cut.

Patron #2: Oh, that’s what I meant. I mean, no, I wanted to say, well, I think I’d like to read more about the meditations.

Patron #1: Read but not actually try? Are you scared?

Patron #2: I just don’t know that I’m strong enough yet.

Server: You had the penne?

Me: Yes. Thank you.

My Mind: Yes, I'm quite certain the cat will enjoy the Fassbinder. I know that we both will.