Monday, July 16, 2007

Junk Thief Is in Terminal Condition

For those of you that just dropped in to see what condition my condition is in, I thought I'd let you know that in this morning's mail came a great package: Airport Terminal Pack. As if it weren't enough to regularly check Pennsylvanian blogger buddy There's No One Driving the Plane Mark's reference to the second in the Airport series, I am in near ecstasy to have this amazing quartet of low culture masterpieces. The Airplane series was mildly amusing, but nothing beats the source material of the various Airports for true belly laughs. I've only seen the first two, and I shiver with anticipation to see the finale The Concorde: Airport '79. There are bizarre, all star casts (1973's Lost Horizon with Liv Ullmann and Peter Finch lip synching Bacharach being a great example) and then there is this puppy.

The horror and glory of this list boggles the mind: Alain Delon, Susan Blakely, Robert Wagner, Sylvia Kristel (as a flight attendant!), Eddie Albert, Bibi Anderson (@#$%????), Charo, Sybil Danning, John Davidson, Monica Lewis, Andrea Marcovicci, Mercedes McCambridge (as a wheel chair bound Russian gym coach!!!), Martha Raye, Avery Schreiber, Cicely Tyson, Jimmie "JJ/Dyn-o-mite!" Walker, David Warner and -- but of course, the eternal connecting thread -- Kennedy as "Patroni".

Should I hold a screening and hand out tiny bottles of scotch and gin? Should I save it for the pond crossing Barcelona trip to freak out my seat mates? Should I just ditch work this afternoon and consume it now?

Oh, when it comes to trash, JunkThief is the ultimate snob. And Proust and Chekov scholar or not, I cannot wait to consume this puppy soon. Oh, the humanity, the humanity of it all!

UPDATE: Oh, I just couldn't resist. I took a peek. Sample dialogue:

Sylvia Crystal (after all the pilots tell her that they take their coffee black): Oh yoo pilots are all such real men.

George Kennedy: Why do you think they call it the cockpit, baby?

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16 Comments:

At 2:54 PM, Blogger Bryce Digdug said...

Jimmy Walker!

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger WAT said...

That picture. Look at your drunken-looking self in that picture!

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Sadly, that's sober pretending to be drunk. Drunk? You don't want to see that.

 
At 4:25 PM, Blogger marxsny said...

I would love to see them all in a marathon. I have 2 more seasons of Elaine Stritch in Two's Company to finish and then maybe... I remember seeing Airport '79, before the days of the multiplex, at the Strand theater in Sunbury PA. I was in the 8th grade and it cost 50 cents to see whatever was playing. Those were the days. (BTW thanks for the plug)

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

I'll try to fit it in between "The Sorrow & the Pity" and the Werner Herzog documentaries. I love to mix high and low art. "Two's Company" fits nicely in the middle.

You're more than welcome for the plug! Hope you had a great b-day.

 
At 6:31 PM, Blogger Robert said...

Oh oh I had that DVD pack in my hand way too many times and never had the bravery to actually buy it! Now I want to watch it! WAAAAAAAAAAH! I think I saw the first two, too... on TV in the late 70's or early 80's. Don't recall. Great, I'll bring the buttered popcorn and lube!

BTW, love the picture. Were you even wearing any pants?!? *straight face*

 
At 4:58 AM, Blogger The Angry Young Man said...

Bibi Andersen versus Charo in a Concorde at the bottom the ocean! Now THAT would be entertainment...

 
At 6:49 AM, Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

You look like you're up to no good in this photo...as if one could remain virtuous with that cinematic treasure in his mitts!
I say pop in on for your upcoming flight! What could be more appropriate?

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

ROBERT - The first step is admitting that you want Airport and embracing that desire without apology.

Angry - That is an amazing concept. Not to get to picky, but they are '79 on the Concorde. It's '77 where the plane goes into the Bermuda Triangle and underwater.

Salty - I am usually up to no good.

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger cb said...

Airport 79 is trashy and awful. You'll love it. Its sort of like Dy-nasty on a plane.

The original one is best.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger cb said...

Oh, and I heard they are coming out with an "Airport 2001" but its more of a documentary.

What?? Too soon???

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

CB -- Hmm...I'd not heard of that one. I've been working on a script for a movie with Bruce Willis and Sacha Baron Cohen called "Shoe Bomb" that is sort of on that same track. They've been slow on feedback though. Too soon?

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger rich bachelor said...

Was that or was that not Eric Estrada as the navigator in the first one? He was the one who provided the beginning to the awful sequence you quoted: "I like my coffee Black, mama!"

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Looking back I can see why these were considered DISASTER movies.

I remember actually going to the theater to see Airport 77 WANTING to see it. It didn't take much to entertain me and believe me that film ain't much.

It's as if a LOVE BOAT episode had gone horribly wrong. I like the idea that the only thing that can help them are balloons. How cute. Balloons.

I have to say as far as casting trainwrecks 79 got them all beat hands down. That was the "lets see whose left that we didn't get in the other movies" movie.

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

wow I was just looking at the IMDB entry for 75 and I may have to see that one again. Come on its a Sharon Gless/ Myrna Loy film. Thats just odd.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Rich - Erik is in the second film, AP '75.

Gavin - Would that be train wreck or plane wreck casting. I've still not been able to figure out which one is Sharon in '75.

 

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