Saturday, June 07, 2008

No Feelings, But Senses for Sale

I have heard from more than one reliable source that there is a restaurant called Feelings on Charles Street in New Orleans. Now before you start laughing and saying that "Feelings" is the worst song ever written, go back and watch Nina Simone's spine tingling reworking of that tune that plumbs its modest lyrics for emotions you never knew you had.
We don't have a Feelings in San Francisco, but we did have a Senses that is now for sale. This sort of Basque restaurant at 1152 Valencia was preceded by the unfortunately named Watergate, one of the first attempts in the late 1990s to bring finer dining to Valencia that has since become more common. Once Watergate closed, they reopened as...Watercress. Most hilariously, they didn't bother to take down the old sign but just put awnings over it with the new name. A, get it, new Watergate cover-up. I wished they'd followed it with Monica's.

I'm sort of pissed that Firecracker has closed on Valencia and will now be the third Indian restaurant within a block. Mind you, I love South Asian restaurant as much as anyone, but I will miss Firecracker's feel of being an opium den for recreational users, as if it were a place a dowager from Atherton might escape to let her hair down. And I really dug their yin-yang prawns.

Anyway, here are some names I've long toyed around with for trendy restaurants:
* iPod, uJayne Mansfield
* kNeebraska
* Susan Anton's Suddenly Salad!
* Feelings West
* East Dakota/West Dakota
* Gregg's Eggs
* Fred's Fried Slophouse
* The Russian T-Room...Too
* The Gravy-on-a-Stick Warehouse
* Carlos' Cuy-town
* Just Pho U
* The Chupalines Junction
* The French Coin-op Laundry

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At 6:30 PM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Ah some good ones there. My additions would be:
Channing's Rasberries.
Soup R Grouper.
Santa Barbara Zoo-B-Q (this might actually be taken)
Jack's Off-Vine.
The Big Brown Kentucky Derby.

At 6:40 PM, Blogger Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Gavin - Not exactly related, but it reminds me of one of my favorite saloon names and supposedly the oldest continuously operating gay bar in North America (since 1918) Gene's Bamboo Lounge on Pine Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

At 7:26 PM, Blogger jason said...

oh yes, there is a Feelings. It's quite umm..."gay" as you can imagine.

I wish they had really gone with the easy listening theme full throttle, however, but it fails there, alas.
In fact, I don't even think one can hear "Feelings" at Feelings. Now that's sad.

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Jason - Too bad, and they could have opened a motor lodge like our Beck's across the street and named it Afternoon Delight.

At 10:28 AM, Anonymous The Angry Young Man said...

Susan Anton?!!!

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Angry - Didn't you catch her in Reno last Thanksgiving?

At 11:27 AM, Anonymous The Angry Young Man said...

Mercifully, no. Is she on the casino circuit? A step up from the county fair circuit, I guess. I mean, she could be opening for the new Mamas and Papas with Mackenzie Phillips.

At 11:30 AM, Anonymous The Angry Young Man said...

Also, like that hideous raw foods place, I really must insist that any restaurant give all its dishes verbs for names and then make the waitrons force all the patrons to use the names when ordering -

"I'll have an order of vengeance with a side of comeuppance. Oh, and how's the vindictiveness today? Is it fresh?"

At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Huntington (a.k.a. Lord Van der Fah Fah) said...

AYM, your vindictiveness is always fresh off the griddle. Mmmm...delicious!

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Angry - Well, I honestly don't know if she played Reno or not. Though I've heard a rumor that she and Ann Jillian are touring in a gender-switch version of "The Odd Couple".

Oh, and on the raw question - a woman I know in Berkeley recently got food poisoning at Gratitude. "Do you think it might be because the food wasn't cooked?" she asked, batting her big vegan eyes.

Huntington - Nothing says Sunday brunch to me better than freshly braised vindictiveness with a dash of ginger and cilantro. Yum!


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