Coffee by Force

Before fair trade lattes and the importance of taste, Americans recognized the best reason to buy coffee: if you don't you will face a horrible death.

Let's Have a Pork Barrel Holiday in SF!

Since I had so much fun with all of you New York bloggers in September, I hope you might come out west soon. In this week's issue of New York magazine, this article even lures you to come out west for just $226 and experience high culture and come within barely 500 or so feet of my door by visiting the "seatless" (actually, that's not true, they have sidewalk chairs) Dynamo doughnut store (dynamosf.com) which they compare to the Lower East Side's Doughnut Plant (doughnutplant.com). However, for all of the Doughnut Plant's history and charm, can it offer you maple-bacon doughnuts? I actually came close to buying one yesterday but held off. Come on, Kusala and Salty Jill, come out to (up to) SF and we'll have a pork-packing holiday and meet up with Bryce Digdug, who can shuffle the tarot cards of pork products.

New in My 'Hood

I'm not sure if it's a sign of the new economy or a last remnant of the old one, but I finally got around to stopping by Dynamo SF, just around the corner from me after its opening a month or so back. Bryce Digdug often speak of the Bi-Rite phenomenon, and it's easy to see how a place that serves simply coffee and dough nuts could be seen as a part of that. However, at $2.50 for a simple cup of coffee, one wonders how long such a place will hang on charging what would be pricey even at an airport.

Death and Coffee in Oakland

Yesterday evening while Friendatella and I were killing a little time before the movies at the Grand Lake Theater in Oakland, we were struck by the Day of the Dead Coffee shop which was dead itself with the doors locked. The blue bonneted vision of loveliness a few doors down reminded us of Bryce Digdug who wore a similar bonnet to the Hunky Jesus pageant a few weeks back. (I've been very proud that this video of mine has received many hits after being linked from several right wingnut sites.)

Like many naive San Franciscans, we ventured into this somewhat upscale Oakland neighborhood where there have been several armed robberies at pricey restaurants. The police described the suspects as "teenage boys in hoodies". That really narrows the field, doesn't it?

Neurotic Like Me: Overheard at Philz

(Conversation overheard at Philz Coffee, 24th and Folsom, 7:58 a.m. today)

Annoying White Chick: This is the only place I get coffee in this burg. You guys are the only ones with integrity.

Barista: That's great.

AWC: I mean, I really feel like I'm back home...you know...in a neighborhood with chutzpah...with umph...with, you know, integrity.

Barista: And when did you leave L.A.?

AWC: L.A! I'm from Clinton Park! Lower Manhattan!

Barista: M-Kay. How did you want your Symphonic Blend?

AWC: Light and sweet as we say back in New Yahk!

Barista: M-Kay. And how did you want your Arabic, sir?

Me: Dark and sour as we always said back in Dubrovnik

AWC: Huh?

Barista: I totally hear you. No need to get that stuff in the way of a good brew. Nothing like having--

Me: Integrity.

Barista: Exactly.

If We Must Say Goodbye

If we must say farewell at the end of the summer to those pesky plastic bags with Safeway or the generic "THANK YOU" non-logo logo, I wonder if we could bring to the west coast one of my favorite emblems of Manhattan. Every morning, I took an odd comfort seeing the words "We Are Happy to Serve You" printed on my coffee cup. Even if the server belching out "light or dark coffee this morning" belied every sentiment on the cup, I felt a certain safety in the sea of Manhattan as I stared at those words in gold and blue. Maybe it was the little Greek feligree that spoke so strongly to me.

It's just not the same with that Starbucks mermaid or those funky faux West African mud cloth motifs on a cup of Peet's. And I really have no desire to order a ceramic replica with its false sense of providence. I want the real thing that I can throw into a land fill.