Got Plans for January?

Now that I've decided the Inaugural is probably out of my budget, I wonder if anyone would like to join me at one of the events at the Edwardian Weekend January 23-25, 2009. It was pretty cool this year. I even have some bowler, waistcoats and Chesterfields that I can loan you. Sorry, not many petticoats or corsets in my closets these days.

The Night of the Wild and Woolly

I was really getting tired of looking at ugly old Omer's mug, and if there's going to be a wild eyed, wacko Mission resident at the top of this blog it's going to be that dude on the upper right. (No comments on that profile shot? What's the deal? Okay, all those hours of posing while listening to Miles Davis' In a Silent Way were wasted.)

W is my favorite letter, especially when it is pronounced properly and not in the manner of that sewer maggot holding the White (as in W) House hostage. Double U not Dubya, puh-leeze! Doesn't it just sound cooler when properly pronounced with all three syllables not with that lazy Texan two syllable drawwwwwwl? Why isn't M called double n? Or should it be double-upside-down-V? Double U is one of those simultaneously abstract and concrete concepts like the words sweater and pullovers. How long does one sweat into ones sweater until knowing it's time to shift to light weight linen? Double-U is so Dada, Cocteau and Duchamp all at the same time. Man Ray and Kiki did a very erotic commercial for the letter W that was too hot for Sesame Street.

My favorite use of the letter Double U is the Wild and Woolly West. The Wild, Wild West is a favorite use as well. I've been watching the second season (released just before the Summer of Love or was it the Somer of Luv?) The dreadful Will Smith/Kevin Kline movie of the same name diminished that wonderful series of the same name. Robert Conrad was very appropriately woolly back in the days when men waxed their hair and not their chests. I'm all for back and balls waxing, but I prefer just a little bit of appropriate chest trimming not waxing. I recently wrote a piece in my Old Fag's Writing Group about the influence of Bonanza on my sexual orientation, but WWW amped it up a bit more. Did any straight boys watch that show?
There were a lot of good West shows in the 1960s when they turned the whole concept on its head and left Death Valley Days in the desert dust. Did someone say....

Honey West....

Was there ever a greater opening theme? Who could not love a chick named Anne Francis? I love people with just a string of first names. Anne Francis was up there with Ann-Margret not to be misnamed Ann Margaret. Judy Julie Lulu Zza Zza Eva Lily Marie! A string of first names in a female moniker is so proto-feminist, announcing that she needs no phallic family name to define her. No wonder Babs forced William Wyler (double double yoos there) to excise most of Anne's scenes from Funny Girl. She knew competition when she saw it. I think her only line left in the flick was "Did he fire ya?"

Honey is a great name too. I hate it when men call me sweetie, dear, or darling. But I swoon when they call me honey. It really brings out my drone devouring instincts. Drip it on me, you drone!

More than Dune or Blade Runner, the original Wild, Wild West was the most Steampunk, post-modern, beefcake fagfest of all time. Besides wild woolly chest shots, Conrad usually strutted around in Grant Administration leotard dress pants that helped me ace my middle school male anatomy class. I could identify all 3,304 muscles below the waste line as result. He had more brocade and silk vests than Prince, Wendy, Lisa Apollonia, Sheila E and Vanity combined.

I also dug that all the episodes were titled "The Night of the..." In season 3, Junk Thief TV may call each episode "The Winter of the..." Whadya think?

Oh, and if you're looking for the definitive rendition of the theme song of the show, Cartman's version is the best. I know South Park is so 1998, but this is one that is worth diving into the archives. I feel so woolly and wild just dipping into the recent past.

But We Won't Be Watching the Olsen Twin Videos

After going gaga over the Georges Méliès inspired children's book The Invention of Hugo Cabret during the holidays and its Steampunk ethos, Junk Thief may have found a new kids lit book that speaks to him. Diary of Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney lacks the visual sophistication of Cabret, but as the above image shows, it speaks to something very primal and familiar. What is this all saying about Junk Thief if the most compelling new books are those aimed at the "tween" set?

To learn more, this article in New York this week is a good review of this newest submarket.

Closets, Pantries and Cabinets of Glory

Say what you will, but one of my favorite things to do as a child was to hide in my sister's enormous walk-in closet, snuggled up in a far secret corner behind rows of shoes and sweaters where no one could find me as I read Uncle Wiggly books and an atlas or two to study the many far off lands that I dreamed of visiting some day. (And, with a few exceptions, now have.)

It's a big, wonderful world out there, but we all need a closet to call home.

I felt so safe in there in that perfectly ordered little box in our rambling house where I felt I could control the entire universe with a flashlight, books and my imagination as I sat on a throw pillow and explored the far corners of the real and imagined world.

A group of straight women (wait, and one lesbian) were at my house this week and while I was pouring one black rose tea, she started oohing and ahing as she caught the site of my pantry (pictured on the left). She said it was her dream to someday have such a well ordered little corner. All I could think but did not say was, "Gee, doesn't everyone's kitchen look like that?"

I actually love bringing order to my closets and cupboards and always feel bereft when they are in disarray. Yet I have yet to gain a walk in closet equal to the one my sister had.

About a year ago, I started learning about the ancient concept of cabinets of curiosity or wunderkammer, but this concept of weird science or bringing together the natural and unnatural worlds really speaks to me. Like Steampunk, its a sensibility I have long had without having a name for it.

On that note, I have been very happy to recently discover a great kindred spirit on this topic. Heather McDougal's Cabinets of Wonder is a great site on such curiosities and more. It helps that her writing is several notches above the typical "blog" and is well researched and referenced. Excuse, I think I'll end this post, sit on the floor of my pantry and peruse Heather's blog.

I'm A Steampunk, How About You?

Junk Thief has slowly become aware that he's part of a subculture without intentionally joining it. There've been clues and mention of the Steampunk movement popping up lately, but he wasn't that clear on what it is. He remembered seeing this video on the Wall Street Journal site last summer and he certainly saw examples a couple of weeks ago at the Edwardian World's Faire which was referenced in an NPR piece this afternoon that put the whole thing in perspective. Surely that's what those mysterious but glorious inventions in the storefront near the 24/Mission BART -- such as the one on the right -- are. There are even Steampunk iPod skins out there. How typical of Junk Thief to be clueless as to what the kiddos are up to while being totally in sync with it. Maybe Junk Thief TV with its many references to the past qualifies as a Steampunk channel. That sure sounds a lot cooler than "retro".

This whole idea of turning backwards to go forwards is really central to the Junk Thief aesthetic that celebrates everything of the Beaux Arts/Modernisme/Edwardian area evidenced in his recent homages of the George Melies, Antoni Gaudi and Claude Debussy. And, honestly, isn't that computer at the top of this post a hell of a lot more attractive than those white laptops with glowing apples? Junk Thief just can't wait to see the reaction of the Geek Squad guy the next time he comes out and sees the laptop with wrought iron bear claw feet.