Interactive Monday: More Mocks, Faux and Fakes

An article in today's Times about the Tokyo Tower turning 50 got me to wondering how many homages to the Eiffel Tower there are in the world. I've seen and driven under Torre el Reformador (above) in Guatemala City, and I understand that there is one in Paris, Texas.

Do any of you know of others?

This summer a couple with a Nebraska twang walking behind me blurted out "San Francisco is just like Buenos Aires." When I turned and sneered back at them silently, the woman nearly gasped. Maybe that doesn't happen in Omaha, or at lest Lincoln. If Buenos Aires is a faux Paris, I'm not sure what that would make San Francisco. I just know San Francisco in no way resembles Buenos Aires. We can't even bury our dictators, members of the Doors and elite here.

The Eiffel Tower was greeted with the same disdain the Transamerica Pyramid received three decades ago. Simply surviving, however, is not a guarantee of gaining credibility, let alone gravitas. The San Francisco Marriott, for example, will be considered as hideous in the next Millennium as when it opened in the 1980s and brought Far North Dallas Gauche Faux Deco Baroque to South of Market. The fact that all of the glasses in the penthouse bar broke during the 1989 earthquake proves that there truly are acts of an angry god of art. The building itself, however, will probably still be standing after "The Big One".

Much of my life I've thought I was a fake but feel I've matured into being more mock or is it mawkish? Perhaps I need to go back to Guatemala City, sit under the tower and soak in the proper waves of falsiness.

UPDATE: If you look closely at the clouds to the left of Torre el Reformador, doesn't there appear to be a cowboy hat?

And here is the tower of Paris, Tennessee, that is five feet shorter than the one in Texas.

UPDATE: Oh, and lest I forget, we have this lovely eight inch Eiffel Tower in the mini-Edwardian greenhouse right here at the Junkplex.

From a World You Don't Know Anything About

Okay, I've held off on discussing the weddings at city hall this week for long enough. Here's a predictably wacko comment from the fat man in San Antonio, though a tad out there even for him. Would that world he's from be the planet where they wear electric blue suits? I'm curious about his reference to penicillin. Is he implying that it's sinful?

Onward, Christian Wackos

If someone from the Lone Star State calls you a big educational model, this piece will give you a definition of what their intent is. It also gives you some good information on what to pack should your travels lead you to Texas. Six or more puts you on the wrong side of the law.

Don't Dance in the Streets Just Yet

He may be physically leaving D.C. and the White House, but I don't buy the "going back home to spend more time with the family". Anyone who knows him or the course of Republican politics knows that's code for dreaming up some evil, new plan. Instead of that hideous attempt at rap we were forced to see at the press dinner last year, I'd rather see him do a retake on this lyric:

So come up to the lab.
And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici... pation!
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom.

Hot Nuts and a New F Word

Remember those math questions in elementary school? Here's one for you: "If you want to travel 225 miles in 8.5 hours, what mode of transportation would you be using?" Answer: via American Airlines to Dallas. I'm no math whiz, but even I know that's less than 27 miles per hour. Even a mechanically challenged Geo goes faster than that, I believe. Granted, the flight itself took 25 minutes, but that's the total time involved going from point A to point B. If I needed to confirm that summer weather provides more challenges than winter, this did it. What a fitting finale to a week and a half conference where global climate change was a recurring theme.

The only saving grace was that after much negotiation to even get a seat on the last flight to SF I looked down on my boarding pass and took a few seconds to figure out why there was not a number for my zone. It almost made up for the delays to be served hot nuts and wine in a glass goblet. What a concept. So that's how the other .0007% lives. Though it was a lesson reconfirmed not a new one, I am glad that I took the route of being calm and polite. I suspect my fellow travellers who were screaming about the injustice done to them and demanding to see a supervisor are still sitting in the waiting lounge of DFW.

Gusty Winds May Exist

Sixteen hours on the road, 778 miles and the upper triple digits in gas purchases (probably more than I put into my Saturn for all of 2006), and still a few hundred miles to go before reaching home. I'm sure everyone is just dying to know the mundane details of this journey, but since my two brain cells are barely functioning, I'll just share a few shots I managed to nab during the day. I promise not to have so many shots of my scowling ugly face once I am back home.

Welcome to the Cadillac ranch...
...with a rather sleazy looking docent to guide you.
Such politically correct, high minded culture here in Arizona!

No remarks on squinting and scowling unless you can smile while staring into the sun when it's 102 degrees.
I didn't stay here but liked the sign.
At the Flagstaff depot.
This must have been taken in...uh...Flagstaff too.

Lone Star Stops

After a late start due to work related issues, JunkThief betrayed his vow to never cross through Texas but had to in order ultimately to reach the Golden State in a timely manner.
Outside the world's largest (and, surprisingly, cleanest) rest stop just east of Groom, Texas.
At Amarillo's landmark Big Texan Steakhouse, home of the 72 ounce steak. Yes, squinting and scowling because this was taken into the setting sun. No, dinner was not had there but down the street at Bennigan's. Bad, but not as bad as this place.