Brawling Mob

Sieg Heil, Boston

Whither the Lowly Incandescent?

At the stroke of midnight, September 1, 2009 -- a moment that will forever live in infamy when the European Union defiled the grand legacy of Thomas Edison and the incandescent light bulb. Rumblings of similar insanity were already sweeping the US -- a nation on the verge of the horror of single payer health care, Brie on Demand, unsegregated Perrier spouting water fountains, medicinal heroin, the metric system, football really being soccer and death panel inducing uncircumcised penises -- and holding the nation in the grips of the current Nazi/Stalinist regime.

In this dark moment when our nation is at threat of our children being forced to eat artisan bread, organic fruit and read King and King, a brave voice comes from the uppermost 'burbs of the Twin Cities as brilliant as the beacon of a GE 60-100-150 three-way bulb. Having the vision in 2008 to introduce the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act stands Michele Representative Bachmann.

Though no fan of science, Representative Bachmann recognizes that old science is less evil than new science and points out that the halogen and florescent bulbs will spew more mercury into our society than the many platters that Jeremy Piven could consume at an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet.

Mercury. Madness. Go ask Alice. Mercury. Bulbs.

Michele is driven by these thoughts as she walks through the "hardware" aisles of a Walgreens in Adams-Morgan and fondly touches the rows of incandescents resting on the shelves like innocent babies, oblivious that like a flock of Dodo birds they are fated for the Auschwitz style ovens planned by the cruel oligarchy of the Obama White House.

Closing her eyes, Michele is reminded of the time she visited the two Menlo Parks -- in California and New Jersey (where she got a great deal at the Ann Klein outlet in the mall) and sends out a prayer to the memory of Edison. Edison. Menlo. Edison. Menlo. Santa Michele. Santo Edison.
In a near trance, Michele is transported to Mount Menlo where she stands before the power of Menlo, the Greek god of invention. He peers down to her, tiny wire filigrees connecting in his eyes until they are lit brightly, giving her the strength to soldier onward, to champion the American right of choice, to embrace the unhealthy, unsustainable, environmentally destructive, insane values of our fore bearers. She imagines the rotting corpse of Ronald Reagan emerging from his grave like Frankenstein, his rotted brain only slightly more moldy than it was in 1985. Freedom. Contras. Innocent victims. Jolt Cola. Flock of Seagulls. Ah.

Michele falls to the floor, her crotch moist and head bleeding on the tiles as the announcement on the intercom has a slight tremor beneath the endless rows of fluorescent bulbs, "Customer assistance in hardware. Customer assistance in hardware!"

Barney Goes Rogue

After a couple of weeks of crying, mourning and generally feeling depressed about the sad end for a sweet but aggressive dog, I can actually laugh at this. Another reason I prefer sight hounds over terriers.

More the Morning After

One of my hopes in the wake of yesterdays victories (and defeats such as Proposition 8), is that words such as wingnuts, freepers, moonbats and the general meanness on both sides might calm down if not go away.

Though I don't talk about it too much here, I have a number of Republican friends and grew up in Missouri and Oklahoma. I also believe that there are some sane Republicans out there, but most of them are even more appalled by the state of the Republican Party than Democrats are. When he was in office, I had no respect of former Oklahoma Congressman Mickey Edwards. I did meet and interview him a few times, and came to recognize that while I agreed with him on many issues, he was a thoughtful, educated and articulate person with respect of the Constitution.

Much of what he has written and said in interviews lately is incredibly insights. This interview today with Terry Gross on NPR is a reminder that yesterday's victory will be a failure if it is only about squashing the Republican Party. Edwards makes some great points about how the party has gotten so far off track, and though still deeply rooted in Republican values and that he could have lived with a President McCain, he voted for Obama without apology. Perhaps the best moment in the interview is about 2/3rds through when he says that any party that thinks Joe the Plumber is smarter than a Harvard graduate is clearly on the right source. I hope that the battered elephant listens to this Republican and takes some of what he takes to heart instead of thinking that they will rise only by embracing their darkest instincts. From Liddy Dole to Bible Spice Palin, that clearly didn't work, and we can hope they might get back to embracing the core principles of democracy.

Just Point Me Towards the Secretary of Slow Food

I've watched this clip several times, and I have to admit I am conflicted. My initial reaction was the same as that of most of those who have commented on it at YouTube. Here is a dumb, fat, mean, narrow-minded, racist woman who clearly wears the pants in the family. Maybe it's because I've been around a rescue dog for two months and know that much angry aggression is rooted in fear and insecurity more than a deep-rooted evil, but I have some sympathy for this couple. The man, at least, seems to evoke some empathy even if he doesn't seem to have much of a spine. They are in dire straits and clearly victims of a heartless capitalistic system, with at least Sean considering that maybe things should change course, and then Tracy speaks up...

Then, I started reading some of the comments, including those who googled her and have listed her home address and phone number encouraging people to send hate mail and hurled every misogynistic insult they can muster. One thing she says is absolutely true: There are a lot of other people that think the way she does.

About midway we see them at the table saying grace over their "meal" of pizza, sandwiches and soda. And it appears they're pouring salt on the pizza. Maybe it's all just chemical. I definitely agree with Michael Pollen in this interview yesterday that there should be a minister of food or gardening in the new administration, no matter who wins.

Call me a member of the urban cultural elite, but although I am probably a dozen or so years her senior I suspect I'll outlive Tracy whose Type Two Diabetes will end in multiple amputations until her bitter, clogged heart finally gives out at 55. Even she doesn't deserved that.

But, as I said, I'm conflicted until I hear her say "Uhbahma". It's thanks to voters like her that we've had the last eight years. Maybe I will write a letter.

Cindy on Central

Reading The New Yorker article about Cindy McCain and the attempt to move the McCains from 7110 Central Avenue to 1600 Pennsylvania sent me straight to Google Maps to see the place. Unfortunately they didn't list the addresses of the nine other houses (yes, that's their two higher account of at least Cindy's addresses).

Not completely unrelated, isn't this an adorable picture of Dick Nixon?

Saying No to Dick

I have used Credo as my long distance carrier since the late 1980s when it started out as Working Assets. I've yet to make the transition to it as my cell phone carrier. Besides having the best and quirkiest customer service I've ever dealt with, they are a corporation that's always been willing to be very strident about the causes they support, and the right one.

So I was pleased to receive this mailer from them that not only states their causes but takes on where their competitors' money is going.

Let's Send the Caribou Barbie to the 94709!

I love trees. I hate the ideology of evangelical Republicans. I enjoy eating vegan meals when they are cooked well. I also enjoy animal based protein now and then. I recycle and compost. I'm not above going to big box stores or pay more at locally owned co-ops.

However, when I see more than one of our local news outlets leading with the story about the Berkeley tree sitters as if it were the most important story in the world, I think the office Sarah Palin should hold is at least city council member if not mayor of Berkeley. After my last post calling for an end to the violence in the Mission, I own up to the thrill of the vision of Ms. Palin and her assault rifle taking care of business with the tree sitters and then heading over to the Marine recruiting station to run Code Pink out of town. No bullets fired, mind you, but just to give these folks a reminder that there is a world outside of their patchouli and B.O. scented bubble.

Okay, I got that out of my system. Now on the peaceful images of protecting polar bears.

'Don't Be Diverted By the Ground Noise and Static'

McCain's words as I've seen the third incident of protesters being strong-armed less than five minutes into his speech. And I'm not watching it closely. Is "ground noise and static" the new code word for "truth"?

One Word I Don't Want to Hear for a While

maverick

    adj : independent in behavior or thought; "she led a somewhat
        irregular private life"; "maverick politicians" [syn: irregular,
         unorthodox]
  n 1: someone who exhibits great independence in thought and
       action [syn: rebel]
     2: unbranded range animal especially a stray calf 

Maverick \Mav"er*ick\, v. t.
To take a maverick. [Western U. S.]

Maverick \Mav"er*ick\, n.
In the southwestern part of the united States, a bullock or
heifer that has not been branded, and is unclaimed or wild;
-- said to be from Maverick, the name of a cattle owner in
Texas who neglected to brand his cattle.

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Interactive Wednesday: Who's on First?

Country first or hip hop first? Where do the Bi-Polar Bears stand on the Alaska Independence Party? Why is the Angry Left angry? Why is no one talking about No Poodles Left Behind? How long has it been since there wasn't a candidate for the #1 or #2 state that was once a part of the Confederacy? Was Alaska ever part of the Confederacy. How many miles is San Diego east of Las Vegas?

What's on your list?

Yes, But Can She Spell Potato?

And this site, has some fun facts about her.

They've Gone About As Fer As They Can Go

Who knew Code Pink and the Religious Right had so much in common?

This series of ads have been making the rounds on a lot of blogs this week, but it's worth glancing at all of them together.

I've spent a good number of years in Kansas City and would not equate it to "big city" extravagance, so the ad above debunking the city's former Mayor Kay Barnes' run for U.S. Representative is quite fascinating. Who knew there were such parties taking place in San Francisco? I was never invited. And is the trio we see dancing made up of the the types we'd expect to see at a Pacific Heights fundraiser? What is supposed to be so objectionable about them? Because they're not an all-white group? Because it's two girls and a guy? Or, most likely, that the blonde chick is strutting in her Fantastic Sam's 'do and 1986 Fashion Gal duds that folks in even St. Joseph would not be caught dead in?

I don't really know much about Kay Barnes, but she seems like a reasonable enough moderate and certainly more appealing than her opponent Sam Graves who looks like the fat, ugly spawn of John Ashcroft. Remember him? Though it's sad that in the above rebuttal, Kay felt she needed to pose in front of a fence in a hay field to prove she's a country gal not a city slicker.

All of which makes me wonder what both Kay and Mr. Graves would make of Shirley Golub. Actually, I think I saw her last summer at the crafters barn at the Lake of Ozark's Cornpone Festival.

Will, Grace & a Donkey

Like Jackie Broyles, I can't stand having bats or gay people getting in my face, so I've avoided talking about this whole gay marriage thang. So I thought I'd leave my thoughts to the always spot on Red State Update boys. And, remember, don't sue the Bible 'cause you don't want to take on a book full of Jews.

What's Odder Than a Dancing Pig?

Just when the tedium surrounding the Pennsylvania primary reached an absolute breaking point, there was the interesting news of Julie Nixon Eisenhower backing Obama as well as an earlier announcement of Susan Eisenhower doing the same. No word yet on where things stand with Tricia. Maybe it's evidence that new Millennium Republicans are too much for even Cold War era Republicans.

Unfortunately I've not been able to track down any video of the Eisenhower grandchildren dancing around in top hats.

Thomas Jefferson - Zen Biblical Editor

I am becoming increasingly enamored by Beliefnet and its true embracing of the concept of interfaith. (However, rest assured, this is not a faith blog.) At a time when John McCain is gaining the endorsement of slippery pond scum such as John Hagee, I am glad to see a reasonably objective reporting on matters of faith. Though even they take a point of view of being objective, which is subjective in its own right.

Particularly interesting is their article on the "Jefferson Bible" and the multiple cuts he made. In general, he seemed to make wise choices. If Mao could hone it all down to a little red book, why couldn't the Christians do the same? Too bad Jefferson is not around today to help me out on this bog.

Left Turn Yield on Green?

Once upon a time, I actually had mild respect for John McCain as a Republican who would not sell his soul to the flock of sewer maggot Evangelicals. It seems they have since infested his brain like the maggots that they are, moving from the fecal matter of Bush's shallow, alcoholic cranium to the septuagenarian senator (already a year older than Reagan when he first ran) from Arizona. Tonight we hear him on 60 Minutes, musing, "I say 'I know that I can.' But I also believe that America is a right-of-center nation. And I think that Senator Obama and Senator Clinton, with all due respect, are liberal Democrats. And I'm a conservative Republican. So I believe I can make a better case to the American people."

Just when it seems that any hope for the future of the world lies outside of the U.S., there was speculation that The Right would take back power in Spain. However, sanity prevailed, with tonight's election results proving that my plans to relocate there should not be abandoned. Though there is that little Euro-dollar conversion thing. At least you can still get gas for $1.98 a gallon in Ecuador .

No One Raps Like a Jewish Nazi

Beware the Kiwi

Wacko Lou Sheldon of the Traditional Values coalition shows up on the radar once or twice a year, but I must admit I've not taken time to actually visit his site very often. It's interesting not just for its obvious targets -- homosexuals, "abortionists" and any Democrat, female Democrats, of course, being the worst. Of particular amusement was a transcript of a speech Hillary Clinton gave to Planned Parenthood that is supposed to shock us, and it does only in that it reveals a voice and platform that is so sane it's hard to believe it came from the United States.

Sheldon has also adopted the term "radical homosexuals", which I've heard a number of his ilk use in references these days, as if they have finally learned that just saying homosexual these days is not going to upset enough people.

However, it's particularly interesting to see that he is attacking Nancy Pelosi for turning the Congressional cafeteria "green" with healthier food selections. As Mr. Sheldon's rant states:

Her edict has replaced Jell-O with raspberry kiwi tarts and mini-lemon blueberry trifles. Buns have been replaced by baguettes.

Not everyone is happy with Nanny Pelosi’s changes. The food is fancier and the prices are higher. In addition, the stirring sticks for the gourmet coffee nearly melt-down when put in hot liquids. Coffee cups have been replaced by “ecotainers” and the cafeterias serve “free range chicken.” Meatloaf has been replaced by mahi mahi.

One Republican aide wrote: “I really don’t like Nanny Nancy telling me what I can and cannot eat for lunch. If I want to eat unhealthy, I should have that choice.”

Personally I think the right wing Republican "radicals" should be allowed to continue being offered all the artery-clogging fried slop they can consume. It certainly helped off morbidly obese Mr. Falwell, and we could hope more of them find their way to an early grave following his example instead of Mike Huckabee's. Isn't there something in the Bible about the body being a temple and that it should be respected? Never mind, I guess they don't take it literally when chowing down on those dough nuts and deep fried cheese.