Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Whole WORLD Loves Me!

The Valley of the Dolls is that piece of perfect pop poetry that keeps gaining deeper meaning the more you look at it, like looking into tea stains at the bottom of your sink and seeing the mysteries of the Universe unfold. Its triptych of troubled young beauties equal three Greek muses high above Mount Olympus as they struggle with the muddled mess that is humanity traversing its tiny corner of the cosmos. It helps if you're strung out on drugs while watching, I guess.

Junk Thief is still seriously considering following up his Neely tribute in the gala season premier of Junk Thief TV's glorious second season by re-enacting Neely's breakdown in the alley. Colorful Balmy Alley seems destined for the location shoot with all its colorful murals, especially the one with pictures of Mexican movie stars including Cantinflas. Keep egging him on and he may include it in either his holiday spectacular or season finale in the spring. It probably would be most dramatic on a rainy, December night.

In the meantime, Mordi of Blow Up Doll from West Yorkshire has posted an interesting Patty Duke cover of Donovan's Colours from her never released folk album. Sure makes you wonder what it would have sounded like if Patty had been able to sing not lip sync "It's Impossible". Mordi has a great appreciation of 1960s girl pop divas, and we've exchanged tributes to our mutual muse of Claudine Longet. Anyone who digs Genevieve Waite is a friend of mine.

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22 Comments:

At 11:07 AM, Blogger Bryce Digdug said...

OMG! I love Cantinflas. Also Tin Tan. His visage is on Tin Tan bar sign next to Pancho Villa. Cantinflas signed his name in cement at the Million Dollar Theater in Los Angeles. It's near the Public Market. We always stroll over there from the Biltmore especially when walking our Bison.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Joy said...

I can't MAKE you do your recreation/tribute to La Duke's famed breakdown in the alley... but I CAN beg. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do it!! If you're ever in NYC you must come here, I'll get Gary over and we can do the whole movie! ...I'm NEELY!!! NEELY O'HARA!!! anybody?

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Bryce - Well, I do hope you're not one of those people who forget to curb their bison.

Joy - Well, I do get to that little town on the Hudson now and then, so we'll plan on making a Junk Thief TV episode there with you two. But let's get one thing clear from the get go: There's only one hit that comes out of a Junk Thief TV show. "And that's me baby! That's me!"

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Gary said...

What kind of budget are we talking about for Junk Thief TV? Joy and I are already scouting out locations for our scenes between Anne Welles and Lyon Burke. We also do the bit by the swimming pool between Neely and Ted when she catches him "Red-handed in my pool with that whore!". Or perhaps you and Joy could recreate the bathroom scene between Helen and Neely. Oh, so many possibilities!

So, at the very least I encourage you to get out in some alley and scream til the church bells ring.

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Gary - It's also been suggested that I should recreate Neely in the SF Tenderloin dive bar and end up with the skanky guy in the hotel room. Ew, no, gross. Gee, and I always thought I was more the Anne Welles type with my prim, New England classy good looks.

Well, we'll have to plan a meet-up and movie making date. Or maybe you two will make it out west. It's that little city with the orange bridge in case you're not familiar with it. We ain't Manhattan, but we do have our simple, home-spun charms.

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger Dan said...

like looking into tea stains at the bottom of your sink and seeing the mysteries of the Universe unfold

Dude, I need some of what you're smoking. Seriously. I trade you a rabbit's foot and three paper clips.

 
At 6:55 PM, Blogger Gary said...

Oh boy, if you do the Neely in the seedy hotel scene please cast me as the half naked skanky guy going through the wallet and swatting Neely away as he walks by. Come to think of it we should just do the whole movie - I'll talk to Joy about scheduling conflicts and get my agent on the phone. ;)

But perhaps you are right about playing Anne Welles. You could do the voice over from the beginning of the movie "I never wanted to make that climb..." Now, there's a JT TV opener.

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Dan - Sadly I'm clean and sober. Just wacky on my own natural juices. Sorry, I can't share those.

Gary - It sounds like there might be some new off kilter MGM/Pathe waiting to happen with you, Joy and me as stars. After we wrap the "Dolls" remake I'd love to tackle "Cleopatra Jones" or maybe some more obscure, European flicks.

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger WAT said...

How is Patty Duke doing by the way, didn't she suffer a stroke some two/three years ago or so?

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

Now YOU KNOW I want in on this!

We'll have to get you a bullet bra to wear under a tight sweater, and a long string of beads to lasso your perky bosom with during your big dance number.
You can borrow mine.

 
At 7:13 AM, Blogger laurenbove said...

another fantastically witty bit. Love reading your thoughts...especially excited when I read "triptych" and totally pronounced the shit out of that word. I.E. I knew how to say it.

yee haa, here's to my morning brain, viva caffeine!

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger cb said...

I always WAS fond of Neely O'hara. What were the other two's names? Jennifer? and ??

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

WAT - Poor Patty. I was vaguely aware of her health challenges but don't know her status.

Jill - I don't go as far as putting on wigs and girl clothes. I just go ahead and belt it out in my boy drag.

Lauren - Yes, triptych is one of my favorite words. I just love words describing religious artifacts that sound slightly dirty. Chalice is another one.

C.B. - Anne. Prim little Anne from proper, old New England. Just like me with that clenched teeth accent and classy good looks.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

I've do that scene wenever I find myself in an alley.
"NEEEEEEEEELY OH HAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAAAAGH!
GOD? GAAAWWWD???"

I want that second act outfit she's got on.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger mrpeenee said...

I say go, baby, go, but I'm just not sure you could realy get into the character if you didn't flush a wig down a toilet first. Give it a try.

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Gavin - This remake requires extensive shoots in New England, Manhattan, San Francisco and LA. So perhaps we can tap into your talents. Ted Casablanca, perhaps?

Mr. Peenee - Welcome to my blog! Oh, what makes you think I've not tried that before?

 
At 5:44 AM, Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

Wigs and girl clothes? I know that's not your style. I was offering to loan my own perky bosom for a body double. I'll need to go dig out my bullet bra, though.

 
At 8:30 AM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Since Wunderbra is one of our sponsors, I'm sure they will be happy to provide one.

 
At 1:28 AM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Don't forget the premiere will have to take place on a cruise ship.


Goodbye pussycat Meow!

 
At 1:32 AM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Wat her blog can be found here.
http://pattyduke.net/blog/

 
At 5:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not a Helen Lawson production until Helen Lawson says it's a Helen Lawson production and Helen Lawson says this is a Helen Lawson production...

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Junk Thief said...

Gavin - Thanks for the Patty link.

Anon - Uh, would you mind revealing yourself. Is your name, perchance...Helen? Approval granted for the production?

 

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