Friday, January 18, 2008

Foiled TD at TJ's

Overheard at the Trader Joe's on Brannan at 11:12 a.m. today. (Him - Filipino American in a Ricky Martin sweatshirt and big silver wrap around glasses. Her - African American woman in a Hollister t-shirt, motorcycle boots and wallet on a chain.

Her: Dude, we still need to replenish the bottom shelf. Hand me some more.

Him: (Hands on hips) I know I'm pretty femme, but I still know how to pitch a football. (Throws a six-count package of garlic naan.)

Junk Thief: (Picks up two $.79 each grapefruits)

Him: (In a girlish, cheerleader scream as he looses his balance, falls backwards, knocks several dozen grapefruit on the floor, lands his butt on my shoes.) Oh, sometimes I don't even realize my own strength!

Her: Dipshit, you pitch a baseball; you toss a football. Stop fucking around and hand me the rest of the naan. I'm almost ready for my break.

I always feel the universe is out of balance when I go more than two weeks without a trip to Trader Joe's. I'd not been since early December in order to avoid crowds, especially those getting last minute XXXL mark downs at Nordstrom Rack that shares the same parking lot. Some might critique it as a big box store, but then Whole Foods is based in Texas, while they are headquartered in South Pasadena, just a stone's throw away from the John Birch Society and Blue Boy and Pinky at the Huntington Museum. Pasadena, I've heard it said, is just like mid-America, only more so. I always find it comforting to go there, a movie set version of the sort of streets where I grew up.

Best song ever written about a shopping experience can be found here on Jennifer Terran's Cruel. I've yet to be aware of Albertson's or Safeway inspiring such a ditty.

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At 1:11 PM, Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Dont forget Pasadena is home to JPL and it's crazy founder Jack Parsons. Jack invented solid rocket fuel while trying to blow a hole into another universe so the demons could come thru and take over our world and declare Jack their king. I kid you not.
Anything with Pasadena as a headquarters is OK by me.

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

I hope the butt on your show was apologized for. The people working at the Trader Joe's in also acted like they were on happy drugs.
I sure do miss shopping there...I miss their cookies.

At 1:57 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Gavin - I know of JPL but not Jack. Sounds like quite a fruitcake. Pasadena is sort of the comfort food of suburbs to me. I think it feels familiar no matter where you're from since so many TV shows and movies have been shot there.

Salty - No TJ's where you live. Retreat at once! No wonder they call it Ogreville. Doesn't Ithaca have a co-operative? We have the Rainbow Market, the most ironically named place ever -- a gray, dreary place with skanky gray hippies sticking their wealthy, grimy self righteous fingers in bulk bins of beans, berry and gruel. Cranky patchouli-scented lesbian bray at you if you forget to sack your own over-priced organics. I always go away feeling like I've just endured one of Michael Moore's blow-hard diatribes.

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

No TJ's here, but I know if we had one it would be a big hit. Especially if it had booze. (The one in Philly did not-stupid blue laws.)

I don't shop at the Green Star
Co-op here for the same reasons. What a shame.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Scot said...

And I thought we were a sight when my sister threw a loaf of bread to me down half the length of the isle.

Salty- I hear the TJ's in New York has 2 stores: one for food and one for booze, and that the booze store is TJ's highest grossing in the nation. I have not double checked my sources, so it may be BS

At 6:16 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Jill & Scot - Going through two TJ's lines would be tiring. Another reason to stay in California


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