NEWS ALERT: Our Executive Committee Is Saved!

Whew. Just after the break of dawn, things worked out for the best for the frightening hostage situation in Orange County. After many unsuccessful attempts by the police, ATF, CIA, fire department and Jan Crouch to rescue our executive committee, things took a sudden turn for the better.

As luck would have it, the Junk Thief advisory committee was at a surfing and spiritual retreat in Laguna Beach and got wind of the hostage situation in Santa Ana. All that ginger tea and meditation gave them super dragon slaying skills and they came in to save the day at the last minute.

They did not kill the dragon but are giving him appropriate punishment by sending him to Las Vegas where he will be forced to attend performances of Cirque du Soleil until 2013. Bad dragon!