On the Set: Junk Thief TV, Season 4

Oddest Reference Ever to Kipling

Oh, the Stiles We Does en the Mision

Are Those Bugle Boy Jeans You're Wearing?

Up Dos & Waterfronts

Fag Science

Straight man on the left, gay man on the right

So how's your scientific gaydar? According to this article in New York magazine, you can tell a person's sexual orientation by the whorl on the back of the head or the length of the index finger. Submitted for your judgment at the end of this post are the aforementioned entities of JunkThief. There doesn't seem to be any mention of the meaning of a particularly protruding cowlick.

Get back to me quickly on this one since I have to choose between that hunky stud or the chick in the Daisy Duke's for the Fourth of July barbecue.

Gay men are more likely than straight men to have a counterclockwise whorl.







The JunkThief "whorl"
















The JunkThief hand

Neurotic Like Me - Highlights from Cousin Ginger's Bachelorette Party in Fargo - 1986

(A somewhat accurate recounting of phone conversation this afternoon)

JunkThief: Hello

Ginger: Hey JT, it's Ginger.

JunkThief: Hey, Miz Ginge..whazzup?

Ginger: Not much. You know. Spring in Detroit. Ring bells. Sing songs.

JunkThief: You know, I was just thinking about your 20th anniversary last summer.

Ginger: Yeah, right, the party you were too grand to attend.

JunkThief: Now you remember I was busy.

Ginger: What was his name again?

JunkThief: Anyways, I was thinking about that crazy bachelorette party you threw and...well, I just posted a slide show over on the JunkThief MySpace page.

Ginger: Oh, Christ. You did not!

JunkThief: Well, it's not exactly the real photos. More a representation of what happened. You know, an artistic rendering.

Ginger: You did not!

JunkThief: Did.

Ginger: Not!

JunkThief: Anyways, let me know what you think.

Ginger: I'm logging in as we speak....Oh. My. Gawd.

JunkThief: Anyways, just thought it might bring back some good memories.

Is That New Do Overdue?

In addition to getting new glasses soon, I really think it's time for other changes. I'm thinking about facial hair again and a new haircut. Not sure if the illustration here is the right look for me.

"B" in Manhattan said there is a big spread in W (the fashion rag not that politico from Austin) about the return of acid wash and stone wash denim.

Do they still have those makeover shows on TV? I'm so out of it. I recently learned that Survivor is still on the air. I thought that got cancelled around 2002.

Anyone who'd like to submit me for both a physical and home make over is welcome to do so in case the camera crews get to it before I do. Submission of suggested new looks is encouraged. We promise to post them by Memorial Day weekend. I'll invite everyone over for mojitos and taro ice cream.

UPDATE: Some folks may have misread this and thought the mullet look was in the offing. Much as I'd love it, I think my achey-breaky might go into cardiac shock. JunkThief is actually thinking of something in the #2 clipper or shorter family. Less do to worry about when making the Vespa tour of Greenland this December.

"A" in Houston called this afternoon, however, and said that a prestigious St. Louis benefactor just gave $3.8 billion to fund the Mullet Wing at the Hairdo Hall of Fame in Fargo. Completion is set for sometime between 2009 and 2011.

From the Hairdo Hall of Fame Files

To be honest, city politics in San Francisco is very, very low on my priority list. Sorry but I tend to both think and act globallly and have much more concern about the latest goings on with the Maoists and royalists in Nepal or the latest actions of Morales in Bolivia, Lula in Brazil, Chavez in Venezuela, etc. etc. The San Frnancisco board of supervisors is, well, just about important to me as the PTA in Tupelo, I'm sorry to admit.

However, the recent one day without gel mayor is worth noting. The gel always bothered me, but recent images and articles confirm that -- yeah, it never looked that great but it was there for a reason. It's not that he looked that horrific, but it just didn't feel right. Sort of like Candice Bergen hosting the Today Show or some other such odd one-time experience.

In the meantime, I doubt no one gives much thought about the latest hair styles in Darfur's leadership.