Saturday, October 20, 2007

Clueless Cole

(Overheard while checking out at Cole Hardware this Friday at around 6:45 p.m. as Sweet Home Alabama was playing in the background, almost drowning out the rain.)

Clerk 1: Hey, dude, it's that song.

Clerk 2: Yeah, you're right.

Clerk 1: You know who does it?

Clerk 2: Sure, I saw the movie.

Clerk 1: No, I'm askin'. You know who does the song?

Clerk 2: Some band.

Clerk 1: Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Clerk 2: Oh. What kind of skinner?

Clerk 1: Lynyrd Skynrd with a Y. Do you have a Cole customer card?

Me: Not with me, but my phone number is 285-XXXX.

Clerk 2: Oh, yeah, that's the guy that Reese Witherspoon married.

Clerk 1: Debit or credit? No, it's a band. It's like the national song of Alabama or something now.

Clerk 2: I thought Reese Witherspoon was from the South not Albania.

Clerk 1: No, it's a band that wrote the song, not Reese Witherspoon. Do you need a bag?

Me: No, I'll put it in here.

Clerk 2: Whatever. I just don't get the stuff with Neil Young. He's not even in the movie.

Clerk 1: Of course not, he's Canadian.

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At 2:42 PM, Blogger Dave said...

That song really was the ultimate musical smackdown. I mean, I do love Neil Young, but how many Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials have his songs been in? Mmm hmm, exactly.

At 2:51 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Dave - For all the South-bashing I have done here, I'll admit Neil deserved the slap he got in that song. By the same token, I've been in hundreds of Tim Horton's through the years and have not once heard Lynyrd Skynyrd played there. Damn, that name's got a lot of Y's in it!

At 3:18 PM, Blogger kimy said...

the level of cultural literacy these clerks possess is simply mind-blowing. thanks for sharing - can't make up stuff this good!

At 9:16 PM, Blogger Dave said...

I've never heard of this Tim Horton's of which you speak. Must be a west coast thing. Do they play Harvest Moon on the commercial for the chicken fajita wrap?

At 10:00 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Kimy - They just aren't teaching pop culture literacy in the SF Public Schools.

Dave - Not a west coast thing, sadly. I'd love to have them push out Starbucks. Actually it's a Hudson Bay thing. Tim Horton's is on almost every corner in Canada, but they've recently come to the U.S., mainly the Northeast, but they've ventured as far south as Kentucky. They are a bit healthier and diverse than Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts but not as pretentious as Starbucks. You've not lived until you've had a box of Timbits, they're version of dough nut holes. By the way, there's a campaign to bring Dunkin Donuts to San Francisco. Apparently the powers that be here think it's to working class for such a grand city to allow on its streets.

At 6:40 AM, Anonymous Todd said...

It's kind of the reverse thing with me and new music. And the latest pop culture.

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Salty Miss Jill said...

Damn pot smokin' beatniks.

At 12:40 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Todd - You must have better schools there than we provide kids in California.

Jill - Actually I noticed powdered noses.

At 9:35 AM, Blogger cb said...

Wow. Reminds me of the kind of conversations I would overhear all the time when I lived in the South.

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

CB - Though in the South it would probably be Grateful Dead. Lynyrd Skynyrd literacy is very high in Dixie.

At 7:20 PM, Blogger Erudite Redneck said...

I just got two dadgum words to say:



The South thanks y'all for y'alls' support. :-)

At 8:38 PM, Blogger Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

ER - Free Bird. Oh, wow, dude.


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