Interactive Monday Assignment - Valentine Haiku
Junk Thief has been known to go on a date now and then, and with this being the week for exchanging Valentines, he thought that would make a good theme for an assignment.
Sometimes the best dating advice comes not from self-help books, advice columns or the dreaded Doctor Phil. The best advice comes from the side of cartons.
Here are a couple of examples:
"Can't decide between two shades? Try the lighter one first. You can always go darker later"
- Just for Men
"If possible, use weight to dose; otherwise use age."
- Walgreen's Anti-Diarrheal Caplets
See aren't these a lot more helpful and practical than the usual psycho-babble about open communication and respecting boundaries? Plus, they have the elegance of haiku.
Now share your own product label dating advice.
posted by Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) @ 12:21 AM
14 comments
14 Comments:
Good post! Very entertaining. Now I'm off to look at phrases on packaging.
Squirrel - Thanks for dropping by and checking those packages. I just checked your blog and love your photos. This must be a frustrating year for you as the year of the rat -- another rodent getting all the glory and all.
"Dogs of all shapes
and sizes
love tiny treats"
-Zuke's Mini Naturals
(miniature dog treats)
It neither keeps the syllabic count that it should, nor is it the best I could find, but it's a start.
Rich - Actually that one is good, and I'd not even thought of pet products. Great suggestion.
"If any part of this product gets worn or damaged, please remove and replace it."
- 9 Lives Scented Jumbo Cat Litter Pan Liners
That one real sums up my philosophy on men.
"THIS PRODUCT CAN BE IGNITED UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. THEREFORE, DO NOT USE NEAR POTENTIAL IGNITION SOURCES, HOT SURFACES, OR SPARK-PRODUCING EQUIPMENT."
Joe - Hey, I used to date that guy too. Did he tend to explode with you as well? Damn, that boy gets around.
Hey junk thief: don't go stealin' my junk. Means the world to me!
;->...
Gledwood - I don't think I've stolen any of yours. If so, let me know and I'll gladly return it. Junk Thief only steals from the rich in order to entertain the poor.
The caplets are great, but very practicle advise can be taken from most medications, "If a rash or irritation develops, discontinue use and consult a physician."
Very, very good advise when dating
Scot - Unless you're dating a doctor.
Tear open and use. (wet naps)
Gavin - That one is superb. No pretense of romance. Just go for it.
"Keep out of the reach of children under 6 years of age."
Dave - Oh, yes, I know about him. Though should it be "Keep children under 6 out of reach"?
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